A programmer comes to a piano-player to have a look at his new grand piano, walks around, hems and finally says, "The keyboard is inconvenient - 88 keys, half of them functional, all unmarked. Though, to press 'Shift' with a foot is a fresh idea."

What's the difference between white fairytales and black fairytales?

Question: What's the difference between white fairytales and black fairytales?
Answer: White fairy tales start, "Once upon a time...". Black fairytales start, "Yo, you motherfuckers ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Specialization

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." — Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

The famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee

A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later he received this report: MOST HONORABLE SIR: YOU LEAVE HOUSE, I WATCH HOUSE. HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH. HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE. I FOLLOW. HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL. I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW. HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE. HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE. HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE. I PLAY WITH ME.... I FALL OFF TREE. I NO SEE. NO FEE, CHEN LEE.